I'm Sorry

June 9, 2021
Midweek study with Pastor Edith
1 John 1:8-10

I had a difficult time getting to sleep several nights ago. I found myself having an overnight Pity Party (fortunately I was the only one invited). I found myself alone with my Bible and several Hymnals. It is marvelous how in desperate times of anxiety or worry the Scriptures and Hymns of the church help me get over myself and “Turn my eyes upon Jesus.”

The text for last week’s Sermons comes from the Epistle of 1 John 1 – yes, we read the entire chapter, and when I say we, I’m saying that in one of the congregations with which I serve, 2 very handsome teenagers stood with me in the pulpit and read with me from the Bible. That was a tremendous blessing in itself. What a joy to hear young male voices speaking the truths of God’s word so beautifully. I think it also helped the congregation hear better too. You see, I had been dealing with a bout of selfish self-pity and feelings of self-doubt that put me on a roller coaster of; sorrowful tears, angry outbursts, and moments of apathy. Even as I type this, I can sense that someone reading this wants to raise their hand and say “yes sister, I have been there myself!” Well, the good news is that through the help of prayer partners, a loving and gentle husband, and a late night of reviewing the text for Sunday’s sermons and singing through my hymnals, God in his mercy delivered me (again).

My eyes landed on the last two verses of 1 John 1; “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make Him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives”.

Wow! How many times have I read that, and how many times have I quoted from those verses and yet, again, the Light comes on and I find hope and help. You see, sometimes we go through the dark times, like I described in the above “emotional roller coaster” in order to see the light even more fervently. Thanks be to God that He is the light and as it states earlier in this same chapter; “If we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin”.

Just read that a few times when you feel the darkness of anxiety, self-doubt, or depression closing in on you and ask God to walk it through with you. It may not lift right away, but stick with God and don’t think for a minute He gets tired of hearing from you. He has all the time in the world (and even outside this world ).

Here’s where I found a helpful hymn I have never sung, but hope to someday. I found it in the “Heavenly Highway Hymns” that is used at my Hursttown church. I hope this little portion of it helps you, like it helps me when I find myself feeling sorry about things past, present, and even sorry for myself – “I’ve Never Been Sorry” by Albert Brumley: “Every moment I find Him exactly the same, my soul has been singing since the Savior came, I’ve never been sorry, [No, I’ve never been sorry] that I trusted His name”.

AMEN!